Milena Huart-Vasak is a new teacher at Modo Yoga Paris.

Modo Voices: Milena makes peace with her mother after a lifetime of pain

 

We are all touched by life’s trials and tribulations in different ways. While completing her Modo Yoga teacher training in Montreal, Can., Milena takes some time to share her triumphs, after a lifetime of physical and emotional abuse.

READ MORE: Modo Voices: Karl learns to love all his colours

We share her story with the hopes that anyone suffering from trauma can reach out for support — from professionals, friends and family, on their mats and, most of all, from the place of bravery, peace and strength that lives within each and every one of us.

“I was a child with a very normal life. At least that’s what it looked like to the people around me.

I had a lot of good friends, good grades, always smiling and laughing, seemingly enjoying and loving life.

Nobody knew about the great fear I had every day as I approached my front door after school. I used to pray as I would finally open the door.

I would pray that she would be sober. And every day I would find my mother still drunk. The same face, those same horrible words.

She would turn into a monster –– not the same beautiful person whom I admired so much. She blamed me for all of the problems in her life.

I felt like she hated me. The nights were the worst — that’s when she beat me up.

But yet, every morning I would wake up and be so happy to see her again. This went on for years.

Then, I discovered Modo Yoga in Paris in June 2017 and it started to help me navigate all of the trouble I was having at home.

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“I was a child with a very normal life. At least that’s what it looked like to the people around me. I had a lot of good friends, good grades, always smiling and laughing, seemingly enjoying and loving life. But nobody knew about the great fear I had every day as I approached my front door after school. I used to pray as I would finally open the door. I would pray that she would be sober. And every day I would find my mother still drunk. The same face, those same horrible words. She would turn into a monster –– not the same beautiful person who I admired so much. She blamed me for all of the problems in her life. I felt like she hated me. The nights were the worst — that’s when she beat me up. But yet every morning I would wake up and be so happy to see her again. This went on for years. But then I discovered Modo Yoga in Paris in June 2017 and it started to help me navigate all of the trouble I was having at home. One day, during class, I had this idea that maybe I could try to befriend my mom’s second personality. I wasn’t giving up on her. It was not easy, but I was persistent, and came back to my mat to find my sense of calm and my strength. Slowly but surely the relationship started to change. Day by day she became less and less violent until it diminished entirely. I accepted her two personalities because I know that she loves me so much and I believe that when people are suffering they can hurt the ones they love the most. Modo completely changed my relationship with myself and with my mother. And for that, I am so so so grateful to this beautiful community.” —@milenahvsk, @modoyogaparis #ModoVoices

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One day, during class, I had this idea that maybe I could try to befriend my mom’s second personality. I wasn’t giving up on her.

It was not easy, but I was persistent and came back to my mat to find my sense of calm and my strength.

Slowly but surely, the relationship started to change. Day by day, she became less and less violent until it diminished entirely.

I accepted her two personalities because I know that she loves me so much and I believe that when people are suffering they can hurt the ones they love the most.

Modo completely changed my relationship with myself and with my mother and for that, I am so, so, so grateful to this beautiful community.”

Modo Voices shares the stories of students and teachers across the Modo community.  Some came to Modo through friends, others took the road less travelled as they searched for answers to enliven their life, connect deeper with themselves and their community or bravely face battles with depression, anxiety, injury or prejudice. No matter how they got here, we are Modo Yoga.