As we evolve as humans, although our options for experiences are ever expanding, it seems increasingly difficult to fit everything in.  And often times, the thing left on the proverbial chopping block is spending time with friends.  And yet there is more and more research pointing to the fact that we live longer, feel better, and even fight off disease better when we have regular interactions with friends.

When Modo first began, I was very into books on efficiency.  Maybe that’s a topic for another blog.  

I remember at one point around 2008, I was Modo International’s co CEO, doing an MA in buddhism, touring as a musician, teaching regular classes and workshops, and was present full time at all teacher trainings.  When people would ask me: “how do you fit it all in?!”, I had some really clear answers because being meticulous about optimizing my efficiency had become a passion. 

One trick I used a lot was habit stacking.  Habit stacking adds a new habit to a firmly established one.  For example, since I already had a habit of writing at 6am after practicing (it’s 6:21am right now), I could stack onto that habit planning my top priorities for the day and drinking a tall glass of water.  

As I got older I realized that my time was heavily focused on getting things done, and that my friendships weren’t getting the time that good friendships deserve.  So, since I already have a practice, I started to actively reach out to friends to practice together.  I do the same for mountain walks (I live in Montreal) that get me away from my desk and on my feet. If I’m going to practice and walk, why not bring a friend?

I’ve found over the years that there are actually many benefits to practicing, and being active with friends.  Just in case you’ve been thinking of doing the same, here’s a summary of what I’ve found:

The Motivation and Accountability

When you  book movement ahead with a friend it is much harder to cancel than it is to simply erase your own plan. Research also tells us that having a friend by your side transforms the solitary endeavour of exercise into a shared journey. The accountability factor turns your practice into a shared promise of self care and companionship. I guess we could work on keeping promises to ourselves but that’s another story.

The ‘Stickiness’ Factor

Journalist and author Malcolm Gladwell refers to something he calls the ‘stickiness’ concept.  Stickiness refers to experiences that live with us long after we’ve encountered them. When we engage in our practice with a friend, it becomes a memorable, enjoyable experience. This ‘stickiness’ factor is amplified, and you’ll be more inclined to schedule more movement – walks, yoga, etc.

Happiness

A rush of endorphins—the famed “runner’s high”—is often the highlight of a solo workout. But, when you share a practice experience with a friend you can actually experience a double dose of this elation! Research shows that companionship amplifies the release of endorphins. As we know from mirror neuron research, joy is contagious and it carries over long after you’ve rolled up your mat. The profound sense of well-being is a gift we share.

Law Of The Few

Gladwell and others also speak about the Law Of The Few, which suggests that a small group of individuals can make an impact disproportionate to their size. In the context of exercise with a friend, this ‘few’ can include a group of friends that become committed to practicing a certain number of times per week. Their presence elevates your commitment to physical activity, creating a potent influence. There is an increase in support, motivation, and shared goals.

Sangha

The Buddha spoke about 3 jewels that lead us to enlightenment—buddha, dharma and sangha.  Buddha is knowing that we are all the Buddha, dharma is the teachings.  But even with this knowledge, and the warm accompaniment of all of the spiritual teachings, we cannot reach true understanding of the nature of things without sangha—a community that shares a goal.  When coupled with presence and intention, practicing yoga brings us deep into ourselves, deep into our greatest inner inquiry.  When we move into this profundity and have the accompaniment of a friend, it brings  our practice to new depths.

So, there you have it.  I hope that I get to practice alongside you and a pal some time soon in a sweaty room! 

With love,

Jess

Jess Robertson is a mom, a bass flute player, a loving cat-mom, dog aunty, and the co founder of Modo Yoga and the New Leaf Foundation.